… in comes the port, then in comes the chemotherapy, and then surgery and, Lord willing, bye bye cancer! So, it feels like tomorrow’s our big launch of this medical journey. I think the poking, proding and peeing to date pales in comparison to what lay (or is it lays or is it lie?) ahead.
We’re glad to get started. As an update from our last post, I passed the pee test:) So, we’re all set for the port to be installed tomorrow at 9:45. They’ll also do another biopsy for a tissue sample and, in that process, insert a metal ‘clip’ that will help them monitor the tumor by marking the center for future sonograms and surgery. Not quite clear on exactly what the anesthesia will be but I know I’ll be out and the port will go in. They say the port is a bit bigger than a quarter and will be a couple inches below my collarbone.
I’ve been a little sad the last couple of days about weaning Linc. I know he’s totally fine and doesn’t much know the difference but it’s been physically and emotionally painful. I was telling Scott in the car on Monday night that I was sad – just feels like I’m cutting off a life-giving source that God designed to feed Linc and, before my body or Linc naturally wean, I’m painfully cutting off the supply. As I was telling him, as if on cue, Martina McBride starting singing her cancer song. As the Lord would have it, I heard it for the first time on the Wednesday (earlier this month) between the Tuesday when we knew something was amiss and the Thursday when the cancer was confirmed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing – a sweet reminder that my family, friends (y’all) and especially Jesus were “gonna love me through it.” So, on Monday night, I had a good cry with Martina. I heart country music. As my friend Mel (aka, Big Mama) said recently – I can find a country song (preferably from the 70s) to summarize almost all of life’s situations. In this case, I didn’t have to find it – it just keeps coming on the radio at the most perfect times. I asked Scott to sit quietly while I cried and she sang. He doesn’t share my love of country music so he was kind to endure my ‘moment with Martina.’
Lots of PINK LOVE this week … pink cupcakes on my porch tonight from Sophie, pink bag filled with everything-a-girl-could-possibly-need-for-being-laid-up-and-not-feling-so-good from Alyson, and a real fun box of survival goodies for me, Linc and the hounds from Chandra and Linde. And that doesn’t include the dinners! Lots of fun things to come home too. Lots of sweet friends. Lots of love.
We continue to feel supernatural peace. There’s no other explanation than the Lord. Y’all are praying – we need it and feel it! He’s hearing us and answering. We’re thankful!
I’d love your continued prayers for doctor’s wisdom and the procedure tomorrow. I’d also love your prayers for physical pain with the weaning (if the pain continues it will be a bonus to have pain meds tomorrow!) and my heart to accept this as part of the process – albeit a part I really don’t like. And, I’d love your prayers for Linc. He’s had several sweet babysitters this week – he had 2 different ones today while I went to Baylor for my urine test and went to the dentist (can’t do dental work once chemo starts because of mouth sensitivity but also because of risk of cuts/infection). Thankfully, Linc did great for Alyssa and Auntie Cheryl and was a happy camper when I came home. Again, he seems totally fine and resilient – but just sad reality for me more than him. It’s a crazy situation where he’ll be with so many other people than us over the next few months. Thankfully, they’re willing to help and they love him and enjoy him and he loves them! My mother in law came in from Tyler today. We’re thankful for her willingness to stay for a couple of days while we’re gone tomorrow and likely be a little drowsy for the rest of the night. She’s great with him. And great for us! And we’re thankful for so many folks that love our baby are willing to take care of him for us.
We’ll give you an update tomorrow after the procedure. Thanks for praying.