Take Two

Here we go again. Back to Baylor. Back for blood withdrawals. Back for chemo. And I am back at my closet wondering why, of all the fashion magazines I’ve ever read through the years, noone has ever bothered to have a ‘what to wear’ or ‘what not to wear’ or ‘this works’ or ‘this doesn’t work’ or ‘who wore it better?’ for chemo. And, why do I care?! I have no idea but by the time I spent staring at my closet this morning this whole cute, comfy, could-be-cold, access to my veins, access to my port challenge is getting old. By next week, maybe I just need to decide on a uniform that I wear every time. Oh, but that would make me crazy. Lulu Lemon and Billy Reid served me well last week so get to go again. And, this top should be PERFECT because, when I went to Bible study in South Dallas yesterday, I was greeted by Sarah Mae’s big smile AND …”Ooh, girl, you done come straight from the hospital?! … You be wearin’ your hospital gown?!.. What IS that?!” as she walks around me and check it out front and back. My response could have been “seriously?! It’s a tunic. And a fancy Billy Reid tunic at that.” But, instead, I died laughing and LOVE the honesty down south. If you look good, they’ll tell you. If you’re wearing a hospital gown, they’ll tell you that too. Thankfully it’s from the deeply discounted warehouse sale (I heart Billy Reid’s warehouse sale!) because though I really like it, who pays $195 (retail) for something that apparently looks like a hospital gown?! But, then again, when you go to the hospital once/week maybe it’s the perfect choice:) Despite Sarah Mae’s concern, I put it back on this morning! And, Lulu Lemon, you served me well last Friday so you get to go back. But why must your greatness be so darn expensive?!

In other cancer-related fashion news, I have Stage 2B cancer and I have Stage 1 of the accompanying haircuts. Stage 2 will be a real short cut. And Stage 2B will be courtesy of chemo – B is for Bald? I have been warned by several folks that being bald isn’t so fun but the process of going bald is worse. It comes out in huge clumps and isn’t fun to see in the shower, in the sink, or on your pillow case in huge chunks. So, before that day (which, for me, will be at the very end of March), they suggested going short. I decided for the phased approach and went shorter this week (about to my chin) and will go short in another couple of weeks. Alonzo, my hair stylist for many moons, was super sweet about it and interrupted a Khloe story from the Mavs game (where he was introduced to her by Derek Harper) to tell someone he needed a moment because cutting my hair was emotional for him. At that moment, I truly believed he was more concerned about doing my hair than the opportunity of doing Khloe’s or her sisters’. Real sweet. I’m not sure I’m loving it but that’s not a reflection on Alonzo – just a big change and I don’t really like change and especially changes that don’t really feel like they were my choice. Oh, the loss of control. My love of control shows itself in so many ugly ways. But, the more unsure I was about the cut the more grateful I was that I’d done it because if going to my chin over :30 was hard then going from long to bald over a day or two could be brutal.

But, let’s be real here, if my hair and my clothes are the biggest news and greatest worries as I’m headed back to chemo and saying “see you later” to Gigi’s boys tomorrow, this has been a great week … and it has been. Amazingly and unexpectedly so. God is oh so good. All the time.


5 thoughts on “Take Two

  1. Jennifer,
    Your re-tell of Sarah Mae’s fashion commentary made me hee-haw with laughter! I love it!
    I bet your “short” haircut is adorable! ;>
    Thankful to hear that this week has been a good one.
    Love you!

  2. OMG, funny! I love you! And I love the way you write! I always feel like I’m right there with you having lunch and chatting and I haven’t actually SEEN you in how many years? Anyway, this whole bit to your chin is perplexing since that’s how I envision your smiling face. You’ve had it that length before and looked FAB! I bet you’re even cuter with the really short cut! Everyone should try it at least once, even if it’s not by choice. THinking of you always! Rhonda

  3. I seem to remember a conversation several of us had back in the summer of 2008 regarding your struggle with control and your desire to receive a “badge” on your sash in recognition of this issue (apparently one of many). We had a great laugh then and I continue to laugh every time you confess your desire to “control” but your willingness to submit to the Lord. And yes, God is good ~ All the time! Praying for you.

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