It was time …

Over the last several weeks, Scott and I (or friends and I) would have the repeated conversation of “is it time…?” and sometimes we’d vascillate within the same day with whether the answer was yes or no.  Though the answer varied by person and by day, the question was always the same, “is it time… to cut my hair?”  Somedays I’d feel good about it in the morning but not so confident by evening.  And never confident if I looked at the back of my head in the mirror – though friends wisely told me that few people are standing above my head looking down at it with the scrutiny with which I would examine it in the mirror.  And, week after week, there seemed to be another reason not to cut it – a friend’s 40th birthday party one weekend and then another friend’s 50th birthday party.  I didn’t want to turn their party into my pity-party by showing up in a room of folks I didn’t all know with a wig or bald or a scarf or whatever.  So, I continued to postpone the inevitable.  But, this week, as Scott and I waited for chemo, I said again, “is it time?” and he replied, “I think it’s time.”  So, I called right then and made an appointment.  I had also lived with a nagging fear of having a day in which I REALLY felt like ‘it was time’ followed by the thought: “what if that day comes and Alonzo is out of town or booked?”  So once our mind was made up, I was ready to get it done.  And ready to put an end to the debate and mirror analysis.  And an end to the wad of hair in the drain, constant shaking of the bathroom mat, wiping hair off the sink, toilet rim, tub basin and anything else within 5 feet of where I brushed or dried my hair.  It wasn’t fun to see my hair in the dishwasher, pillow or on Linc’s high chair or food.  Gross.  It was time.  And, now, I’ll have a lot more time as I no longer have to do any drying or styling or shampooing.

Alonzo has been cutting my hair for over 15 years now.  And, I’ve seen him a lot more lately as we’ve gone from long to shoulders and then to short and now to bald.  He’s been a champ.  And, now, in support, he’s also bald.  As is my friend Mandy’s husband, Leonard.  I didn’t really intend to have a party at the salon but that’s what evolved.  Caring friends came to walk yet another step of this journey with me – with tears and, what else, but cupcakes and milk?  Thanks, Cheryl.  I was a bit teary as we headed in but Scott grabbed me again and said, “this is the right thing, babe – it’s time” which helped – as well as a lot of hugs that awaited me inside. It was a team effort between Scott and Zo.  I asked them to start from the back and save what was left of my bang’s for last but, as it progressed, it was far less painful than I feared.  Come to find out Scott kind of liked his short stint as a barber.  I did too when Zo returned the favor and let me shave his head.  And I’ll give credit to these “Aarons and Hurs” in the salon for taking what could have been a hard day and making it a sweet day…

…With friends like these, who needs hair?!

And, as it turns out, Linc looks more like his Mama than ever.

Thanks for continued support, encouragement, and PINK LOVE!


7 thoughts on “It was time …

  1. Sounds like you are experiencing some “Shear Freedom” from your Alonzo and the Lord! Prayers are going up. Pink blessings are raining down. God is good… all the time. Much Love to you & yours from The Motes Crew! XO

  2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again……Your beauty is the Chrisr-like attitude, true joy and His love that just shines from you and is felt by ALL who come into contact with you!! No hair cut can change that:) You are gorgeous!!! Prayers are still a flowin for you and yours, friend!!

    Xoxo-Stephanie Linder

  3. I’ve fantasized about freeing myself from the tyranny of hair—oh the styling, the blowdrying, the maintenance. But the reality is…scary. I know you didn’t have a choice, but you are so brave, again and again. I had smiling tears looking at this on FB and again here. Thankful for your sweet Aarons and Hurs and YOU. xo

  4. Each week, I read your blog and cry, not because I am sorry for you (because I know God will take care of you), but because you are an amazing soul! You are an inspiration to all. Thank you for sharing your journey. Your words lift us and make us better people.

  5. I found your blog after a simple google search of “inspiration for when you lose your hair to chemo.” My mom starts chemo for breast cancer tomorrow, and we decided to shave her head before hand, so she has the control of it – not chemo. We are shaving it tonight (just the family at our home in Illinois). She is extremely sad – more sad than when she lost her breast during the mastectomy. But I had her read your blog posts (especially this one) and she seemed so much more at ease. Thank you so much for sharing – you have brought a complete stranger that is going through the same thing as you, so much peace as she walks down the same path you are.

    We will pray for you, and continue to follow your journey, as it is so inspiring to us! God bless!

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