I feel so so so so so so so so so so much better this week!
I mean a LOT better!
I mean much more myself and able to care for Linc and not so beatdown and tired all the time and ENCOURAGED!
Thanks for praying. He answers. And we are thankful.
My arm/shoulder has pretty limited range of motion and still a fair amount of numbness down my right arm but I think that’s all normal stuff. I laugh because I feel like my elbow is always itching – but it’s completely numb so if I scratch it doesn’t help but, then again, if it’s completely numb and I can’t feel the scratch how is it that I feel the itch?! Hmm.
It’s been a nice couple of weeks without doctor’s appointments. We go back next Thursday to Dr. Osborne (oncologist) and Dr. Cheek (radiologist). And fun news on the radiologist (who Scott loved from the first appointment with him and really valued his insight) is that though his name is the same as a friend I’ve known for years it never crossed my mind that they would be brothers until dinner with girlfriends the other night and Mandy said, “is that Corey’s brother?” In an instant it all made sense that yes this highly-recommended radiologist is, in fact, the brother of a guy I’ve known for at least 10 years – or is it more, Corey?! And, considering the multiple concentric circles (did that make you proud, Mrs. Snell?) of friend overlap with Dr. Lamont (and, maybe he’s this nice and helpful and engaged with all of his patients but we feel like he treats us as much like a friend as a patient so we have been thankful for the overlapping worlds) that we’ve appreciated, it is sweet to feel like we have another personal connection with another one of our doctors. And, Dr. Osborne, continues to be an encouragement with her availability by text, calling to check on me, and yesterday she asked me to do an interview (or video or something else I won’t like but agreed to) about participating in the research study. So, all in all, I find myself again thankful for the team God has put in place. And that’s a sweet place to be today because, earlier in the week, I wasn’t finding the same peace in the sovereignty of God over our team. It’s a weird world with so many women having breast cancer and so many renowned physicians in Dallas and, I confess, I’ve been tempted to second guess or wonder or even (ugly …) envy those who were seeing the “most popular” physicians. But, as I called and confessed this insecurity to Scott the other day, he reminded me how, on a scale of 1-10, we feel like our care has been a 10 (across the board!) and God’s got us and, while he was speaking truth (I requested a “side of love” to go with the truth), he also reminded me that sometimes I have a pride problem and sense of “entitlement” or “elitism” that is inconsistent with who I am and who I want to be. How on earth in the middle of all of this and much more important things to “worry about” (as if there’s anything to worry about when God’s holding the whole world together including us!) do I revert back to junior high and become self-aware or insecure about not having the same “very popular” doctors that others have even though I feel like mine are just as capable and, in some cases, in the same practice and even more accessible via office availability, phone, text, etc.?! This may have been some rambling that doesn’t make sense if you haven’t been in this situation but, maybe, some of you can relate – or, if not, please just pray for my pride to be crushed and His peace to reign.
Speaking of smashing pride, I can do that easily by showing you this fun video. I am not a fan of myself on video or my voice on any sort of recorded device (back in my teaching days, friends could torture me by having a cd/tape playing of me teaching … I can still cringe when I think of unknowingly getting in their car and hearing my voice through the speakers!) but in this case, it’s just too fun not to share the gift of our friend Kurt (along with some other friends of Scott’s) who sent this yesterday. Do y’all recall me losing my phone in Colorado? Do you also recall how, all throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites would have feasts or stacks or rocks or other things to remind them of God’s faithfulness?! Well, my iPhone and this video is one of those fun reminders of good friends, good times, and God’s faithfulness … His eyes that see all and know all and direct all and His heart to encourage all and draw us to Himself. So, while I tried to tell the story on the blog, I think Kurt does a better job with pictures that capture the vastness of the “iPhone hunt”, the sweetness of the celebration, and the friends who, literally, walked alongside me. And, unlike me rambling on the blog, he did it less than a minute in a half:) Here it is: http://vimeo.com/48405975. You might want to watch for no other reason than the incredible pictures of God’s creativity in Colorado.
And, while I’m thanking God for improved health, improved energy, and a found phone, I also thank Him for y’all. And though I say it almost every entry, it’s true. I don’t wish cancer on anyone but I am, one of these days, probably gonna write an entry about “don’t hate me because I have cancer…” because, I promise, if you knew the sweetness that accompanies the sorrow, you might be tempted to be jealous. It is an enviable place to be almost daily encouraged by either texts, comments on blog, cards, gifts, laundry help, babysitting, meals, yard help, Scripture, and LOVE. I feel as loved and supported as I probably ever have in my whole life. And, honestly, I’ve felt pretty loved and supported and encouraged before – but y’all have taken it to a whole new level. And, we can’t thank you enough. It would be a painfully long and hard and difficult road to walk alone. I’m thankful we don’t have to. I’m thankful for you. If you cared enough about us to read this, you have blessed us.