‘It’s back.’ And in my back. Which means we’re back in the pink saddle.

Never the ride we wanted or expected but one we will walk nonetheless – upheld and strengthened by His mighty right hand. I remember so well my first entry on round one and the verse I included … Isaiah 42:16:
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known [we have known the cancer path but not metastatic (stage 4) breast cancer], along unfamiliar paths I will guide them [there are lots of different options in treatment so trusting His leading]; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth [more on this in a bit …]. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them [He hasn’t so far and won’t going forward!].

This may be a ramble of thoughts and stories and I had ‘happy medicine’ early today so can’t promise a logical sequencing. But wanted to bring our friends up to speed. We were loved so so so well in round 1 of this wild ride and have already seen a foreshadowing of the same for round 2. Thank you precious friends. My friend and obgyn came by this morning and referred to our room and support as a ‘fort.’ I feel absolutely girded and helped and protected by the prayers and presence of our friends and family.

I have had some back pain off and on for last couple of months but it wasn’t noteworthy in light of running, yoga, helping Jenn move furniture, carrying a 3 year old and life. In the last couple of weeks, however, it clicked for me (providential protection) that it was just my lower back and if it was muscular from exercise it seems like also my booty or quads or shoulders would be sore and, 6 weeks after the furniture move, I shouldn’t still be sore. So I began to be more attune to it and wondered if I should ask Dr. Osborne. Also, in the meantime (providential protection), some of my other pink breast friends and I had started a little support group for ‘pink not grey’ peeps (breasties that are younger than typical age for diagnosis of 62) and, in that group, I have met a girl whose cancer spread to her back and liver (before it was diagnosed) and the tumors broke her back. Did yall all just wince? I sure did when I first heard! Without our little group and without Shari’s story, I might have ignored the back pain. But I was at the hospital on Friday celebrating another friend finishing chemo so I texted my oncologist and asked if we could go up to see her. And, this is reason #39 that we love her … I can text and ask to see her on non clinic days and she responds with ‘come on up!’ Scott, Linc and I went up and told her about my back and she ordered a bone scan for Monday. While we waited to get scan scheduled, she loved the heck out of Lincoln. By later that night when he had a cut on his foot, he told us (with hands up signaling to keep our distance) that ‘Dr Osborne would get it’ (providential timing and gift for him). She scheduled a scan for Monday afternoon (12.8).

We went on about our day and went to dinner with some friends without any discussion or thought about my back. Until we were home about 8pm. All of a sudden I was in a heap of pain. Scott put Linc to bed and I tucked myself in as well and asked Scott to dig up some pain meds. He found some 2011 goodies and some Ambien and I struggled through the night. The next morning, we were awakened by Mr. Early Bird and I knew quickly that I wasn’t up for Mama duty. I struggled out of bed and pretty quickly texted Dr. O for more pain meds to hold me over until the scan. Instead of texting back, she called and after I explained the elevated pain and concern she sent me to the hospital – Baylor has an outpatient facility for cancer patients that is, essentially, an ER for cancer patients. It took awhile for them to get pain meds started but we knew we were in trouble when morphine and hydrocodone barely took the edge off. They ordered bloodwork and xrays of my back. They came back with thumbs up for a clear xray and good bloodwork which left me with mixed thoughts … ‘Well, I think that’s supposed to be good news but now I feel like a fool for coming to the ER and nothing is wrong?!’ This is when there was a really awkward moment when someone asked ‘have you fallen recently?’ and I SO WANTED TO LIE and say ‘no’ but instead had a flashback of my handstand fall in yoga the day before and had to sheepishly say ‘…. Umm, I fell in yoga yesterday…’ And then my pride was in full overpowering mode as I looked at Scott and said ‘please don’t let me be in ER because I fell in yoga…’ Umm, embarassing. The pain was still intense and friends insisted they join us – so we were accompanied by my childhood best friend, Jamie (aka B) and her husband, Trevor (who is conveniently a doctor!) and Angie (aka Gigi). Jamie had similar symptoms in spring so after we heard the good xray report we began speculating about kidney stones because of the spasms, intense pain, and location. We bought this theory hook, line and sinker. When Dr. Osborne came (yes, my oncologist came to see me not once or twice but three times over the weekend!) we explored this theory with her and she pounded on my back in kidney area (surprisingly it didn’t hurt). She gave us option to go home with pain meds and come back for scheduled scan on Monday or continue with testing. We had settled into fun with friends in ER and Lincoln was happy with my mom (aka Juju) so we decided we would stick around to get answers. They decided on a cat scan which would show more details on my back but also pick up a kidney stone. My dad (who died in 1993 after diabetes and kidney failure) and little brother have both had major kidney issues so I started to think this was a plausible answer. We waited for the results without much anxiety and found ourselves thankful for good care – and very curious about what was going on. We also had a great nurse who happened to also be a firewoman and knew my mom – that was super sweet. She got teary eyed talking about how loved my mom is in the department and how worried she would be. And, you tend feel like you get extra good care when the caregivers know your peeps!

Late in the afternoon, the ER doctor came in and I rather unsuspiciously said ‘oh, I guess you have results from the scan…’ as he pulled up a chair. I didn’t think much about that ‘chair move’ but Trevor recognized the nonverbal cues and the room got quiet. Very perfectly and gently and without trying to sugarcoat it, his first words were ‘it’s back…the cancer is back …’ It was (and is) a sobering, shocking, sad reality. Scott started praying (doctor still present) and then my oncologist called (mid-prayer) so we had a memorable, sweet, tearful prayer with both doctors and dear friends. After the prayer, Dr. Osborne picked up the conversation and informed us that the pain in my back is from a broken rib (broken by tumor) and there is also a mass in my liver… The answer every breast cancer survivor dreads. We are taught to say ‘I have breast cancer’ rather than ‘I had breast cancer’ because breast cancer is treatable but not curable so this is the shadow of possibility that follows us all.

Our heart mostly breaks and grieves for Lincoln. And, at that moment, the reality that we had information that would also crush my mom. But, in His kindness, God had pre-ordained plans with Jamie and Trevor that night (not at ER but they were happy to accommodate a change of locations!) so they were with us and available to drive to my house, tell my mom, and drive her back to the hospital. I still marvel at the providential protection for my mom – she got to hear in person from my friend (Jamie) that she has known for 30 years and her husband that is also a physician and is the perfect person to share and love and let my mom grieve. We were worried about telling my mom in Lincoln’s presence so Gigi went with them to take Lincoln but, as He would sweetly ordain it, Linc was asleep so Juju was surrounded by 3 of my friends who love us (and her) while Linc was protected from the news and tears.

The ER team checked us in to the hospital to help manage the pain and get necessary tests run. I had a bone scan yesterday (12.8.14) and a liver biopsy (ouch!) this morning. They will send me home either today or tomorrow.

We still have lots of questions, of course, and are waiting for lots of information that will impact our treatment plan. But, here are a few things we know:
– the cancer that was originally found in breast and lymph nodes had spread before I was diagnosed and those cells have begun to wreak havoc in bones and liver
– however, it is an incredible praise and provision of Lord that we detected it through back pain because once breast cancer becomes metastatic (fancy word for uncontained and dangerously spreading through body), it is often not detected until it has caused significant damage – like comprising liver function or lungs. And, thankfully, while there is a significant mass (2in, I think) on liver, the blood work shows my liver is still functioning very well. There is evidence of damage in the numbers but it isn’t comprising its function. We have also learned that the lymph nodes in my sternum show enlargement (usually evidence of disease) and doctors had to see this bc of proximity to lungs but, so far, no evidence of disease in lungs.
– Dr. Osborne will wait on biopsy results to finalize a plan of action but her initial thoughts focus on hormonal strategies (suppressing hormones which feed my cancer)
– the very day of my diagnosis she already had social dinner plans with all the big name female breast oncologists in our area from multiple hospitals (O’Shaughnessy, Haley, Blum…) and wanted to share my case with them to get their input
– Dr. Osborne already planned to leave today for the renowned breast cancer conference in SA and this year’s topic is ‘hormonal-based breast cancers’ (me!)
– my prognosis is being discussed as a range of months to years (probably not decades) but more likely years than months … We are so thankful for this!
– I pointedly asked her if she thought 15 years (seeing Lincoln through high school) would be ‘awesome’ (in other words, beyond expectations) and we could tell she wanted to say ‘no’ but she always shoots straight with us and, with tears in her eyes, she said ‘I think so…’ But we know that neither she nor statistics number my days and we trust the One who does.
– we are also thankful for all the incredible research and marketing (props to pink!) for breast cancer research because with each day and month and year they are one day or month or year closer to answers to medical solutions that would help our family.

I will wrap up with updated pictures because none of us look like we did when we first posted on this site (thanks again, Alyssa and Kristin) though my hair is all back! We will update the site picture soon but in the meantime I thought I would include a few from the last couple of days.

As for prayer requests, please pray as the Lord directs because He knows our needs minute by minute but our most pressing concern is Lincoln. He has been with the Rhodes’ since Sunday and they have had their hands full. We have already met with a child life specialist and are thankful for many friends and resource to help us. But, simply put, this stinks! No parent should have to talk to their 3 year old about ‘big sick’ or cancer or, in due time, the possibility of death. And no husband should have to try to maintain work and take care of their wife and be both mom and dad because, at least for now, Mama can’t even hold her little guy much less bathe or run and play or care for him alone. I can’t even find words for how overwhelmed I am with the way the Lord is supernaturally equipping Scott moment by moment with compassion, patience, leadership and love (and he would be first to admit those don’t come naturally for him … neither are they easy for me!). And I assure you that I think his role in our family given this diagnosis is infinitely harder than mine. I covet your prayers for him. I wouldn’t want to trade places with him. I know we can trust the One who put us together, surprised us with Lincoln, upheld us through the first wild ride, and knows everything to come. And I would love your prayers that we lean into Him and His faithfulness and goodness as He walks on with us.

We will be back in the blog business for those of you that want regular updates. You can either check back in for updates or select ‘follow’ and the site will email you when we write something new.

Thanks in advance for your pink, prayers and love!

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87 thoughts on “‘It’s back.’ And in my back. Which means we’re back in the pink saddle.

  1. We love you and are praying for you all. Thank you for the priviledge of walking this road with you.
    Scott & Meredith

  2. Praying for you J. I am so sorry that you are going through more trials. GOD is good all the time, I am glad that you had the pain so the docs could help you know than later. Go Saints!

  3. I love you and have been praying for you everyday since the first day you found breast cancer and I will not stop! It’s good to know EXACTLY what to be praying for and I am on it. I have tons of free time during the day so if you need ANYTHING please do not hesitate to ask!!!! (if I don’t hear from you I’ll ask Cheryl)

    When you pass through the waters, I am with you,: when you pass through the streams, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not harm you. – Isa 43:2

    >

  4. I am sitting at Laguardia, crying & praying, dear friend. So amazed by the strength and perspective of the Lord displayed in your perspective. Love you. Ready to help in any way.

  5. Thanks so much for the update, so helpful to know how to pray, specifically!!! The “soul of a pioneer” was all thru this post!

  6. Jen, your strength is amazing and please know you are being covered in prayer. I will pray the Lord wil carry you during this time and Scott and sweet precious Lincoln.

  7. Oh Jennifer. Praying without ceasing for his will and your comfort. Blessing for Scott, Linc, your peeps and docs. Hold on my friend!

  8. Jennifer,

    This breaks my heart. I am so very sorry you are back on this journey. I will be praying for you and your sweet family.

    Lisa Schubert

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  9. I’m sitting here getting ready to watch Malachi and Selah in a dance recital, and crying as I’m reading this. The lady next to me just patted me on the arm and told me not to cry, my kids would do just fine dancing. I’ll cry more if I tell her the truth, so I just nodded and acted like yes, I AM that mom who cries at dance recitals.
    Which in truth, I am.

    I love you all. My heart hurts, and yet it’s also encouraged because I know your heart. And I know who it belongs to and whom you trust. And thankful, so gut wrenchingly thankful, the kind of thankful that is like a grip on the heart, that He is in control.

  10. Jennifer, we’re praying for you and your sweet family. Thank you for sharing your story and letting us be there with you through this. We love you.

  11. I’m so sorry to hear this news. It makes me so sad. Yet I know He is faithful to continue this journey with you and your family. Praying for you all. This verse came to mind as I read your news. “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. (‭Psalm‬ ‭112‬:‭7‬ NIV)”

  12. Without words. Thanks for this update. I have been praying for you guys and will continue to. Thankful for the blessings of seeing the Lord’s provision and protection in the ‘littlest’ details…A reminder that he is also there in the biggest. And thankful for you sharing your journey. As always, spurred on by you!

  13. Jen your faith and strength are amazing. We love you Scott and Linc do much. Know we are praying daily for you family doctors health care workers stay strong. Love you

  14. Just yesterday I was thinking of you and even went to your blog to see if you had posted anything lately. So we were overwhelmed with sadness when we read Trevor’s note today. Our precious friends,we are hugging you and praying you’ll feel Gods presence more than ever before. We’re totally convinced He has an amazing plan and never makes mistakes with his children. And we pray for peace and pain relief for you, strength for Scott and running-over joy for darling Linc. Please keep up posted.
    We love you.~
    Norm and Beth

  15. My heart is breaking for all of you right now and I am crying as I read this hearing that you have to go through this again. I was just thinking about you guys the other day. We will be praying and thinking of you. The Lord has surrounded you with amazing friends and family and they will take care of you, Scott and Linc. We are in Houston now, so if you ever head down here to MD Anderson, please let me know. I would do anything to help you guys out! Much love & prayers.

  16. Praying for healing, comfort, everything you mentioned and for all the “unknowns”…and resting and trusting in the One whom we know.
    SO very thankful I was able to see you Sunday night.
    Anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask..you have a village of people who desire to love, serve and help your family.
    Love you sweet friend!
    XO
    Chandy

  17. Jennifer~
    I am so sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine how you guys must feel. Please know the Roy family is praying for you and your dear family.
    Alicia

  18. Still stunned by your news. But trust Him who is able to far more than we could hope or imagine. You are a fighter and I am with you in this fight. Lovin’ you…

  19. I hate that you are here again but love reading your words and watching how He meets your needs and is so intimately in every detail. You are the strongest, wisest and most faithful friend I know. Love you so much.

  20. Oh lulu… Certain realities these last 4 days (really? Only 4?) have spoken to my heart harder than others- and one of them was receiving this blog email and reading each word carefully. Words can’t express how sad I am for our friends whom we absolutely love and adore. And whose son we are crazy about. Praying my friend- with every bit of my heart for a miracle.

  21. Dear precious Lew, Scott, and Linc – you and your medical team are constantly in our prayers, and we will faithfully walk this walk with you.

    You are so very close to our hearts at all times, and our great and faithful God is keeping you close to His.

    With love and prayers, Sharon and BJ Hall

    Date: Tue, 9 Dec 2014 22:15:51 +0000 To: sohallcpa@msn.com

  22. Is there a frustrated scream icon!? Dangit. Suction. I dedicate and commit to lift you 3 up in prayer. Ironically, our pastor recently did a sermon about courage vs fear, and being “intrepid”. The whole sermon is great and he outlines how to approach anything that life throws our way, but if you don’t have time for the whole sermon, listen to him recount his story..the day he received the diagnosis, and all he went through.
    http://www.irvingbible.org/media/view/message/courage-vs-fear/ His personal story starts at the 26 minute mark if that’s all the time you have. Love, The Roys

  23. LOVE YOU and know that God will be glorified in and through you…. no matter what the outcome. Praying… that you lean into Him and His faithfulness and goodness as He walks with you through this next phase. ALSO selfishly praying that He will miraculously heal you which I know He can do, but I don’t pretend to know that He will. But KNOW He is good and He can be trusted and HE LOVES YOU. He has got this…and you know that, but you can never be reminded enough of that TRUTH.

  24. So thankful I am got a chance to see your face today. I am encouraged by your spirit, your thoughtfulness, and most of all, how every praise you turn back to Jesus. Even the smallest thing, any little thing that is good, you turn back to praise our Lord. And its true. He holds all this in his hand…every teeny tiny detail and he loves you like crazy.

    Praying tonight for you, and Scott, and sweet Lincoln. That the Lord would give all 3 of you peace beyond understanding. And praying for healing. I know what the doctors and the studies say, but won’t ever stop praying for healing. He knows what we want in our hearts…why not ask him for it!

    Love you sweet friend. Rest well!

  25. You are in the thoughts, prayers, and hearts of The Jenkins. We pray a soft strong covering for Lincoln! May you and Scott lean in to Jesus and each other.

  26. Jen, I’m so sorry to hear you have this battle to fight again! You are so strong. If there is anyone who can beat this, it’s you. Tons of prayers and positive thoughts coming your way!

  27. You bet your sweet bippy that I am following, and praying BIG TIME! I am so grateful that I now know you and can join the masses in praying for you and in loving on you all! ~Ellen

  28. Continuing in prayer for you during Round 2 and so glad the One who has already won the battle is in your court. Perhaps I will see you around BUMC sometime….

  29. Jennifer, you and your family will continue to be in our prayers. Your strength and faith are an inspiration to us. We are so thankful that you are in exceptionally capable hands and that your doctors are caring and compassionate. You are blessed with a wonderful support system starting with family and including good friends Jamie and Trevor. Your are loved. May you feel God’s loving arms

  30. He is stronger than cancer and He is ABLE! We are praying for your healing Jen, we are praying strength for Scott and we are praying that Linc be surrounded and covered in the LOVE of Christ.
    Love you and thank you for sharing your beautiful heart.

  31. Oh friend, I can’t stop crying because I love you so. Crying the ugly tears and all I can pray over and over is that God gives you those 15 years and years after that. I just love your sweet family. Y’all are not alone. I just picture you all with an army of prayer warriors around you and faithful friends anxious to serve you.

  32. It must have been hard to write the details of the tests, but thank you for giving us all that info so I can pray specifically. Been praying, will continue to pray and asking the Lord Jesus to BOLDLY and heal your body. As I read, I too was reminded of God’s provisions in the past – these tremendous doctors, amazing nurses who are friends with JuJu, providential time with Shari, Jamie and Trevor, and much much more. We worship a GOOD GOD who loves you and that is so apparent in His provisions so far. You know I love you and I am most thankful for all you have taught me about an abiding faith and knowing deeply God’s word. You continue to teach, even today, and I am confident of this very thing that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus! Remember, your got me to memorize that….Philipians 1:6! Love you JLC!

  33. Jennifer
    I don’t think we ever really talked, but my heart is breaking for you tonight. Praying that God would bring healing to you. Praying also that he would provide strength for Scott and peace for your baby.

    Isaiah 41:13
    For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
    and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.

  34. Hi, I came over here from Big Mama’s blog and just spent an hour reading back through quite a few of your posts (well written and shining Jesus through and through.) I’m so sorry that the cancer is back. Really sorry. Many prayers for you and your family.

  35. Learned of your diagnosis from Big Mama’s/Melanie’s site. I am a 2 time breast cancer survivor, and my first diagnosis was when my daughter was 4, and the second one was when she was 6 (about a year ago). I agree–I think it is hardest for our husbands. God’s grace sustains us. We are praying for your family.

  36. Jennifer–Thank u for the update and ur openness to share ur journey. U can be sure that Rbt and I are praying for u and Scott (was glad u specifically mentioned Scott’s needs too–so easy for me to concentrate solely on u). With much love, Melissa

  37. Jen,
    You are such an amazing woman of God!!! You are truly a light to everyone you meet! You are so wise, strong, and have such an amazing spirit! My family will be praying for you and yours! Would love to help you, Lincon, and Scott in any way! (Seriously mean that, not just saying it!) 🙂

  38. Jen…we have never met however my friends Kay Wyma and Shareese Rowland love you deeply and asked me to pray for you.

    I, like you, have stage 4 cancer.
    I, like you, have a little boy, Jackson, I want to see graduate from High School.
    I, like you, believe God is in complete control.
    I, like you, have no clue what He is up to.

    It is baffling to me but what I do know is…for some crazy reason…I am a better person when I am sick. There seem to be more opportunities to love others and share the love of Jesus when I am in Oncology wings or hospitals.

    Today my wife and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary in the Bahamas and I will pray for you by name in just a few minutes with the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the beautiful sun rising in the distance.

    You, my new friend, are in my prayers.

    P.S. I applaud your vulnerability, your authenticity, your just being real. When we are weak He is strong and His glory is made perfect in our weakness. Amen.

  39. Jennifer, Thank you for sharing this journey. When I read your updates, my heart is always touched. I will pray for you, your family, friends and support systems. What a blessing to be surrounded by an amazing group that is there for you in the worst moments with love and encouragement and also there to rejoice with you in the triumphs. May you have a truly blessed day. -Diana (Williams) Dearing

  40. Jen you are such a fighter! I will be praying for you guys. I am so sorry you are having to go thru this again. I love your perspective and your faith. I will be praying Psalm 91 for you guys.

    Cheryl Gwartney

  41. Jennifer, just read this again because you have been in my thoughts constantly. Thank you for being such a light for Christ and intentionally focused on Him. I am imagining that it’s not easy. He is able and we will storm the throne for you.

  42. Jennifer, so very sorry to hear this. It breaks my heart for you and your family. You, however, are a huge encouragement and I know Who you trust and remain steadfast in. May He provide peace and comfort beyond all understanding and may it be His will for you to be healed. Praying for you all.

  43. Jen,
    I am praying for you and your sweet family. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for faithfully pointing me (and many others!) to Christ. To Him be the glory.

  44. Oh. How. I. Love. You. You are such a holy rock star, sister. The Lord is CONSTANTLY bringing you to the front of my mind so I’m lifting up lots of prayers for you.

  45. I’m coming over via Big Mama’s blog. I prayed for you before and I will continue to pray for you and your family now. May you be filled with peace and healing of God’s touch.

  46. Sweet Jennifer , I’m so very sorry you all are having to go through this . I continue to marvel at your attitude on life and complete dependence on our Lord . You are a blessing to a watching world and all that know you .

  47. Sweet Jen you are in our prayers. Have been constantly praying for you since I heard. I don’t know anyone with a bigger heart for Jesus and I know He will keep you strong..love lori and brian

  48. Heh, girl, we are with you.. I am just now healing up from the beating I received from you at Kate’s volleyball game over a year ago. I laughed for days remembering your excitement and body jams reminiscent of my football days. Now, when I go to games, I always look where you are not! Not really, I miss your passion! However, that left a big impression “on” me, more ways than one. Your zest for life changed mine.

    So, Janice and I (and close prayer warrior friends) will have you front and center in prayer time. I once had a friend say to me that they really started living when cancer came into their life. They felt kind of sorry for those who really couldn’t see the importance of each hour of each day. I know that is where you are and you are teaching many that fact.

    There is faith and there is “life from him” faith. We all need and should want your faith.

    Tommy and Janice Maxwell

  49. Oh my heart aches for y’all. What wonderful praises you have in the midst of such a terrible thing. Thank you for blogging about it, letting us in and letting us know how to pray. We are praying for y’all.
    I still remember in college, hearing Scott’s testimony on a YL trip, and it’s amazing the work the Lord has done in his life to prepare him for this. I haven’t been so privileged to hear your story – I hope one day. 🙂 Nonetheless, He prepares us in the craziest ways. Never once do we ever walk alone. I’m thankful that we all have a hope beyond the trials of this life.

  50. Jen, I have no doubt I’m a better person for meeting you. Your beauty inside and out always makes me smile and I’m so thankful. Please know I’m here day or night, big or small.. Just say the word.

  51. Jen, I don’t know you, but I’m a reader over at Melanie’s blog and kept up with you on yours through your first bout with cancer. I am so sorry to hear this news, but know that I am praying for you diligently. I can tell you have some good people in your corner; I pray that you will find comfort, peace, and strength for the fight ahead.

  52. Well, I’m glad you can put all of this into words; thank you. I’m just so bummed. You all have been on my heart all week and I keep racking my brain to see how I can help. So, all I’m doing is praying and bringing you all to the Lord. We love you and are so appreciative of your friendship. Hang in there, be encouraged, know you are loved by all of us, and you are loved with an everlasting love. And let us know when the boys can “babysit” Lincoln. We would love to have him for a “sleepover!”

  53. Jennifer, I am praying fervently for you and Scott and Linc and I will not stop. My heart is breaking that you have to go through this. I love you sweet friend.

  54. chris and I are praying for you and your family….thank you for sharing your journey and pointing our eyes to God in all circumstances.

  55. I came over to your blog from BigMama and have spent the last hour reading your back story. My family and I are lifting you up in our prayers and trusting that our Jesus has a plan. I found this verse a few years ago and it has brought me much comfort. Hugs to you!

    “All glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.” – Eph 3:20

  56. oh my precious friend, i am trusting God with you & at the same time crying my eyes out upon receiving this news. i am incredibly blessed by your perspective of faith on this journey & also am so very sad that this is the road you and your precious family are walking. i love you with all of my heart & am on my knees begging God to reveal His glory through this trial in incomprehensible ways!

  57. Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. – 2 Thessalonians 3:16

    The Motes Crew is praying for The Clouse House.

  58. Love hearing your rock solid faith in Christ as you face this new assignment, I’m joining the battle with you in prayer! It’s a privilege. Am so sorry and sad though…you are so very dearly loved.

  59. Jennifer, Melanie reached out to me. Reading your blog stirs up such a vast spectrum of feelings. Hope. Tears. Strength. You move people with your words, spirit, clarity, purpose, and spark. I hope you feel the love you generate and utilize it in these days ahead. You are in my heart.

  60. Jennifer, despite the miles and years I feel like your love for Jesus you shared with me long ago still spurs me on today. Tears & more tears but to my knees I go to lift your heart and healing to Him who is GREATER than anything we know! Love you so much!

  61. Sweet, Jenn. I look at the pic of you in your hospital bed, with Christmas lights shining in the background, and think about how your life with Jesus shines in the darkness just like those lights. I’m so sorry this is your story right now. Thankful for the people in your life who surround you and will definitely pray as requested. I would love to be on the caring for linc emails since we live so close. ❤️

  62. Jen – The Lord brought you to my mind today and I felt prompted to check on your blog. Sitting here crying and praying for you, Scott and Linc. Love and so many prayers from a Highlight alum.

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