Another day. Another doctor.

One of the many gifts of cancer is that my life is a little “off schedule” (to say the least) and I am learning to live much more day by day. I am less prone to try to plan out my days under the illusion of control. At the same time, sometimes that means that it’s late at night before I realize the next morning I have an early appointment for labs along with Lincoln because he is out of school. I curled him up in my lap this morning and asked if he would go to the doctor with me and he at first said “no” (and therein lies a problem since it was really a rhetorical question) but thankfully he quickly said “yes I will … Can I take a sugar snack with us?” Ain’t nothin’ like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fruit snacks to motivate a kid to go to the doctor with you. Whatever it takes…

He entertained himself while we were waiting by being on all fours with his cars between patients. Slightly awkward but it was a long wait for three-year-old. Thankfully, a room full of cancer patients are pretty humbled and pretty gracious. 

He then sat in the chair with me to get bloodwork done from sweet Ms. Betty who, as of the last couple of months, always does my labs since my veins have been a little beat up and less cooperative. Here we are…  

Those of you that know him well know that he is a child of 1 million questions so poor Miss Betty had to answer questions about what the vials were for? why is there water in the bottom? where do you get her blood? and how does that work? After she taped me up, she taped him up too. He was feeling pretty big boy. The awkward smile in the picture is only because he is in the awkward photo stage. He wasn’t scared at all. And I actually think it worked well to include him in my world.

Thankfully, as I loaded him up to go to the doctor, his Aunt Kiki offered to take him with her to play today so after I gave blood we headed down the elevator to meet her. He jumped on a full elevator with patients and doctors and held out his taped arm and exclaimed “The doctor gave me tape… But I’m not sick… My Mama is sick though…” The whole elevator listened intently since no one else was talking and I heard this older African-American lady lean over to her friend and say “I think my heart might burst.” When we got off the elevator, I heard them talking to each other and saying “what did he say?” And heard the others recounting his little story. A pretty sweet little moment. And a tad sad too.

So he went off to play with Levi and Lily Ruth…

… And I went back upstairs to wait for lab results to see if I needed a shot before chemo or not. While I waited, I got a message that my grandmother had fallen this morning and was taken to the ER. Ain’t nobody got time for that! And of course I felt terrible that the message had been from a couple hours earlier but I had just seen it. The good news is that she didn’t break her hip and they sent her home with a couple stitches in her arm and some pain medication. And she was her chipper self when I talked to her. Her only complaint was that housekeeping hadn’t come to clean the blood off her floor and the nursing staff needed to return her buzzer. These are the woes of a 96-year-old. We are thankful she is okay.

As I was leaving her a message, Christina appeared in the lobby with my lab results and said I didn’t need a shot. I was really pleased because it is not a fun shot in the belly. My lab work was very stable – the red blood cells and neutrophils and platelets were all right at the border of approved limits for chemo. I can tell that I am still pretty anemic based on my energy level but hopefully a new iron regimen (or maybe a good steak dinner?!) will start to it help the red blood cells. And I think the new schedule of every other week for chemo may give my body a better chance of recovering between each dose of chemo. It was a nice reprieve to have an entire week last week without doctors appointments. And except for a pretty rough steroid crash on Monday, I felt pretty good.

The only other thing I have to report is that our house will go down later early next week. And we let a few of Lincoln’s friends help the demo guys by giving them a head start. It was pretty darn cute. Not too often that you tell kids to bring their hammers and sledgehammers and knock down your porch and your kitchen.


Pretty cute huh?!

And, hopefully, after chemo on Wednesday I won’t feel like Dr. Osborne took a hammer to me as well. Thanks for praying toward that end. 

Much love to all.


13 thoughts on “Another day. Another doctor.

  1. You are such an inspiration. Thanks again for sharing your humor and you your heart! Keeping you in my daily prayers!

  2. All those hammers just looks like trouble!! 😱 so fun for them tho!
    Praying for you every single day Jen! Xoxo, Heather Jackson

  3. Jennifer, we/I so appreciate being included in your adventure. You are the Godly lady that we have observed in your “growth” process. Linc is blessed to be a “sharing” partner in your trials. Keep sending the news, I look forward to knowing your treatment is a encouragement to an old guy and I share with Julia, Angela, Meredith, and Belinda, we are still teamates.
    Larry Foster

  4. That photo of those kids with the hammers made me smile and cry…… guys are such great parents with wonderful friends……prayers continue

  5. Did you tell Linc that “demo party” was part of his birthday present? Hard to believe he’s not a little baby anymore. Thanks for the update. The Clouse Family is constantly in our prayers (1 Thes. 5:16-17). Love ya!

  6. Love you and praying. Linc’s comment on elevator…so thankful for his verbal confirmation. Sweet boy. So thankful about no broken bones for grandma.

  7. We are praying toward that end. “I think my heart might burst” is exactly right. Awhhhh he’s so cute. Love those friends with the hammers.

  8. LOVE the photos & “I think my heart might burst” is a perfect description. huge hugs to you & many, many, many prayers precious friend!

  9. hey my sweet jen – i am loving reading your updates and knowing how we can be praying for you. guy and i are missing our sweet thursday nights with y’all. i forward your blog onto a couple of friends who are also praying for you. i love you, dear one…

  10. I’m so thankful for you, Jen! Thank you for always making me laugh and for allowing us all into your heart. My prayers for you continue and I praise Him for His LOVE and how it shines through you in all these stories….what a gift💕.

  11. Again Jen… thanks for sharing your real world.

    In particular, this quote get’s me… “The doctor gave me tape… But I’m not sick… My Mama is sick though…” The whole elevator listened intently since no one else was talking and I heard this older African-American lady lean over to her friend and say “I think my heart might burst.”

    What a powerful, beautiful scene my friend.

    Demo picts are every kids dream… way to go!


  12. Jennifer Lewis Clouse. A true warrior… and hero. Beautiful writer… and humorist. You always manage to provide joy and humor amongst the “real stuff.” Thank you for bringing us along your journey and allowing us to share in the ups and downs. Love you sister! Corinne

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