Happy happy happy. Tears of joy.

I left bible study with friends this morning then walked with my friend Jenn. I then got in my car to meet up with Jamie and head to Baylor for a follow up with the heart doctor regarding my blood pressure. So the day started out rather routine. And  sweet. At Bible study (again, anyone welcome on Tuesdays at 930-11 at Church of Incarnation) today we were in Psalm 37 and the majority of our conversation was about how the Psalmist exhorts us to trust the Lord, not fret, wait patiently, rest…

And, He will do it.

Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

All the while, unknown to me, I have 2 texts sent in the middle of this conversation. After the study and walk, I read (from beloved research nurse, Nancy):

Clear your schedule, ma’am. You’ve been given a spot on the new trial๐Ÿ˜€

He did it. He opened the door that we thought was closed and He keeps His promises… He ‘will go before you and make the rough places smooth…’ This is one of the first verses the Lord gave me when this whole wild pink ride started in February 2012. And it’s still true. He is still going before me and making the rough places smooth. 

I am so thankful!

Just yesterday I got a text from Dr Osborne telling me she hadn’t heard from me and wanted to know how I was doing. I lamented about some unexplained pain in my abdomen and sides that often keeps me awake at night but she’s already done an ultrasound (showed nothing) and all she could do was sweetly say she was sorry about my pain – and offer hydrocodone:) We ain’t scared of pain meds around here. But in light of unexplained pain and wishing for more scans and answers, look what the Lord was doing in the background. So, now, I will have scans, blood work, MRI and weekly appointments and follow up. Not to mention access to medicine that isn’t available yet. Another bonus of this trial (which is rare) is that while they will be using my body and the others in the trial to determine right dosage and toxicity levels (essence of a phase 1 trial), I can actually have access to higher doses than just my trial group if I tolerate it well. That’s a great side benefit. And if the medicine works (‘works’ is defined as stabilizing the disease but we also know that Lord is able to use it to push back the cancer if He so chooses…) I have access to the medicine indefinitely. For free.  These are huge blessings in the medical world. And huge gifts to me. I have much to rejoice in today.

I have already signed all the paperwork! Lots has changed in the 3 hours since I read their texts. There is a 14 day wash out period of the other medicines in my system but we are all smiles and thumbs up to start the new medicine on 10.14…

Happy Day with Nurse Nancy. And you can see all my signed paperwork stacked up behind our big smiles.

More smiles with B as we headed home from Baylor with happy hearts… 

Thanks for praying and trusting and rejoicing and smiling with us. He will do it…

Love to all!๐Ÿ’—

From Psalm 37:

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. 40 The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.


36 thoughts on “Happy happy happy. Tears of joy.

  1. I’ve been so stressed over everything in my life including my children, but finally some good news. I’m not ashamed to admit that I broke down and cried. Tears of joy indeed and of release from at least parts of my worry. God is good, Jenn.
    Love you so ,

  2. Rejoicing with you Jen! Grateful to hear this news and praying you will do great on the drug trial. I know you are doing great in this trial of cancer, you faithfully encourage me to let Him direct my steps daily. Psalm 37:23-24

  3. You are so often on my heart and in my mind… that little junior high cheerleader and volleyball player with the big heart for Jesus and for others! Even in those scary years of adolescence you were a girl whose heart just glowed for God! I love you, Jen. I truly do “thank my God on every remembrance of you.” Thanks for being so public and honest on this wild, pink ride! Hanging on to the eternal while still in earthly clothes can leave us all a bit white-knuckled! So glad God let our paths cross all those years ago! I can still see your big grin and neon t-shirts, doubled up (like your socks) and rolled at the arms to show off another BRIGHT color. Keep showing off the BRIGHTNESS of HIS LOVE! Consider yourself hugged!

  4. You have been prayed for more earnestly in the Jenkins household over in the last 10 days because I had not seen a blog post recently. Thank you for sharing so we can be encouraged in trusting our Lord even more Psalm 37 is one of my favs! Rejoicing!

    Lee and Frances

  5. That is just such amazing and wonderful news Jennifer!! I am so happy for you, Scott and Lincoln!! Hugs to all of you!


    Sent from my iPhone


  6. Jennifer, Doug and I celebrate with you. Continuing to pray for all things Clouse! God’s Word says it best ~ Psalm 31:7-8 ~ I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, and You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place.

  7. Jennifer, that is fantastic news! What a blessing. Can’t wait to hear how your journey is going on this trial. Happy Day!!
    Sarah Hightower Bryan

  8. As Caroline always says…”Praise Jesus”…and Jackie chimes in with “Praise God”!!!

    This is just the best news I’ve heard in a while…we will continue to pray for you, Lincon and Scott!

  9. Rejoicing with YOU!
    “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.”
    Isaiah 26:3-4
    Praying for “perfect peace” in all things.

  10. I am truly so happy at your news! I don’t comment often but I always read and you are in my prayers regularly. hugs from ATX! xoxo

  11. PTL!!!!! This is amazing news. Definitely something to celebrate via dancing for the Lord in Latin Fusion. ๐Ÿ™‚ I will continue to pray for you… And for lessened pain these next few days before the trial begins. XO

  12. Jen, my alarm goes off at 3PM every day as a reminder to pray for those that have special needs, and are near and dear to my heart. Your name has been lifted to the Lord for so many days, but now my prayers are a mixture of thanksgiving and specific healing from the cancer. With every trial/drug/treatment comes renewed hope! We both know the Lord does not need drugs or surgeons to heal, but I love how He uses those means to give His children specific ways to see answered prayers. Thank you Jesus for this trial and thank you in advance that it is exactly what Jen’s body needs! You knew this all along but thank you that you allowed us all to participate in this journey through prayers, tears and thankful hearts. Love, Karen Sandlin

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