I just said goodbye to Gigi and Lincoln and Scott as they leave to take Gigi to the airport. Uncle Hite and Aunt CC left earlier this morning. And the Washingtons are already home. As I said goodbye and laid alone poolside overlooking absolutely gorgeous beach I found my heart and eyes fill. I am so very blessed. So very blessed. I love these people I just went on vacation with. I love this place that Id never visited before (and though I will resist the 30A stickers I’ve found slightly obnoxious I now understand the obsession!). I loved hearing Linc tell me I’m the ‘best mom ever’ because ‘this was the funnest day ever.’ I love celebrating Gods grace and kindness to him because I am definitely not the best mom ever. In fact the 3 aunts that were here spent more time taking care of him than I did. I marvel at the ocean. How big and how wide and how deep and what a picture of the vastness of God I can’t understand.
Somehow throwing up my medicine (again yesterday but keeping it down the other days) and skipping dinners because my back hurt too badly (silly tired weary bones) and missing most morning activities because I was trying to recover from the night (terrible night sweats with temps up to 101.9) don’t really matter when you are surrounded by the glory of creation and even more so when surrounded by people you dearly love.
On the way to the beach this morning, Lincoln said ‘God is good because he lets everyone go to the beach…’ and I explained that yes God would love for everyone to see His beaches but not all can afford it (‘what does afford mean?’) so that’s all the more reason that we are thankful that He let us come (thanks to the Harrells) and be with our friends. Needless to say, this girl doesn’t take this vacation for granted. I am grateful.
I don’t like our trip being truncated by the necessity of tomorrow’s doctor’s appointments but even while I’ve been here I’ve felt loved by our medical team.
In Bible study (that I missed on Tuesday) we were reading the rawness of feelings from Ps 77. And the antidote for despair and depression was his choosing to remember and meditate on the works of the Lord. He then makes several water references that seem to be flashbacks to Exodus 15 and the parting of the Red Sea.
I was thinking of this as I lay by the ocean yesterday and couldn’t imagine how the Israelites ran headlong toward the sea not knowing if it would open – but yet trusting the Lord to deliver them. I thought about how if the Sea had parted 200 yards before they arrived it wouldn’t require the same faith. I admire them. And I thought of how I feel like people give me too much credit for joy and peace and grace in this season but that it’s truly HIM that has opened the seas and provided a smooth path in the face of death. And I’ve seen Him provide supernatural peace and grace. And until I was willing to step all the way up to the waters edge (or He walked me to the edge in my case) I couldn’t experience the sweetness of this ‘deliverance’ into joy that completely overwhelms me.
I feel as ‘sick’ as I’ve ever felt – my bones are letting me know, my bowels don’t like all the pain meds, my body is fickle about the pills, the boob that was so badly inflamed seems to show signs of a recurrence and I’m on continual pain meds (the pain patch … ooh la la!). But my heart is full. I feel loved and secure and hopeful (in Lord regardless of outcome). And, trust me, this isn’t me anymore than it was Moses that parted the Red Sea. It is me in awe of a God who knows all things and does all things and loves all people. And I am finding myself even more willing and desiring to trust Him because of the joy of watching Him do ‘abundantly above all that I could ask or imagine.’
And, lastly, can’t go to the beach without a few obligatory fun beach pics. Here are just a few of my favs…