No Go for Chemo…

New experience today. Got labs and then they were even slower than usual in chemo waiting room with lots of follow up (aka, acting weird) and then the chemo nurse came out with ‘serious face’ and said that my white blood counts are too low for chemo today.  While this is expected side effect for all chemotherapy I haven’t had this problem. Then the nurse added that Gemzar is especially notorious for causing white blood cell counts to drop real low. So instead of chemo she gave me a booger of a shot in my belly to stimulate bone marrow and cell count and we will try again tomorrow. 

Dr. Osborne looked at ‘the girls’ again and thinks we should stay the course with Bactrim and chemo and doesn’t think we need to see infectious disease doctor since I don’t have fever. That was followed by a lecture about fevers and a horror story about a woman who didn’t wake up because of internal infection and she got my attention. I need to take temps a couple times a day. Thankfully I feel fine (low energy but fine…) but that doesn’t serve well to remind me to take my temperature.

While I was headed to chemo Lincoln was headed to our mom-taught preschool with his Aunt CC instead of me. On the way there, he told her she went the wrong way. Really? He has no idea where it is. However, he was right. But then he conceded that even with his help they were both lost. He’s a verbal opinionated adorable nut. Think that’s Lewis DNA or Clouses?

And then while we were waiting for the chemo nurse to confer with Dr. Osborne I got this text:  

Since I’ve been sick again our Chapel School kids and families have been so faithful to pray for me. The kids have a special prayer they pray each week for me:

Dear Lord, 

Please heal Mrs. Clouse today.

Make her strong to the finish either way.

You may say yes, you may say no …

To your throne of mercy we always go.

On the white board behind them you can see the prayer (not that any of them can read!) but, even sweeter, look at those little clasped hands praying for his Mama. So so precious. What a gift to me! I know we all talk about trusting our kids to the Lord but I feel like I am getting a crash course. And thankful that the Lord loves him even more than Scott and I ever could. And my hope and prayer is that cancer gives him the gift of an early dependence on his Savior. Though he told us out of nowhere this weekend that ‘I haven’t asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins. But I will later.’ I then we asked if he knew what sin was. And just as confidently he said ‘no.’ And that makes us laugh because though we haven’t told him needs to ‘ask Jesus to forgive him for his sins’ we have had ample opportunities to explain sin! Lots of teachable moments for that from a 3yo as well as a 43yo! Clearly I am not the best teacher. Where do they get this stuff?